My wonderful client Miss D wrote an incredibly relatable article titled: "Why I Didn't Lose Weight Before My Boudoir Photoshoot".
I know a LOT of women experience similar feelings of doubt, especially when the reality hits that you actually have to go through with this! I'm thrilled to be able to share Miss D's perspective, and to shine a light on the range of emotions most women experience before their first boudoir photoshoot.
If you're feeling nervous, but you really want to the opportunity to feel beautiful and sexy, I hope her words give you the courage you need to just go for it. Remember, it's MY job to make sure you look and feel your absolute best. All you need to do is show up.
- Why I Didn't Lose Weight Before My Boudoir Photoshoot -
If you’re like me, you want to feel sexy and confident in your own skin, but something is holding you back. For me, it was my weight, and I knew exactly how to motivate myself to lose those extra pounds from pregnancy. A boudoir photoshoot!
I distinctly remember being excited to confirm my session.
Click. Paid. I'm doing this!
This, finally, would be the motivation and incentive I needed to lose the weight, to drop those pounds from my babies, to finally be happy in my body. My mind was focused on weight loss. I would lose 20 lbs in the 3-4 months before my session and celebrate by taking sexy photos. Brilliant!
But that isn't what happened.
Nope. I am no weight loss success story. I am still your typical, busy mom who eats a bit too much and works out just enough to be healthy. My goal to lose weight before my session with Jennifer didn’t pan out. Life’s obstacles took over, and my 20 pound weight loss goal became completely unattainable.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
I watched the clock countdown the days to my photoshoot. Two weeks away from the photoshoot, wait- from the BOUDOIR photoshoot, I panicked.
Do I reschedule?
Can I reschedule?
Maybe I'll say I'm sick and need to postpone.
Could I say I'm still grieving from my father’s passing a few months ago?
How can I get out of this so I don't have to look fat in lingerie photos?!!
After taking a breath, I realized that canceling was not an option. As a business owner myself, I couldn’t bring myself to make a last-minute cancellation, especially due to something as silly as a number on a scale. I was able to further rationalize my decision to not cancel by asking myself these questions:
What is sexy about me?
Truthfully, I didn’t know the answer to this. I’m a mom of two toddlers and I'm stuck in yoga pants a lot. I wanted to break free of that. Sure, there were things about myself I found “pretty” but mostly I just felt fat. I wanted to feel sexy again and understand the best parts of myself in this body, not some idealized version of myself 20 pounds from now. This mindset took a lot of convincing, but ultimately I’m glad I changed my mind.
Can Jennifer Williams help me feel sexy?
I asked myself this question, because if Jennifer wasn’t going to help me figure out the answer to the above question, then there would be no point in continuing with the shoot. The truth is that Jennifer Williams has every incentive to make you look like an absolute BABE, and furthermore, she enjoys doing that. I gathered this from her instagram profile, her insistence on posing people in a way that made sense for their body, and her natural editing techniques. It’s you in those photos. The hottest version of you, as you are right now. Isn’t that amazing?
What will I do with these photos?
Part of me wanted to take these photos for my husband, and the other part was for myself. If I didn’t like them, then I could simply do nothing with them. No harm. No foul. Alternatively, if I did lose weight eventually, these before photos would be amazing to use as comparison.
Will my husband like them?
My husband was on board with this 100%. He loved the entire process of me secretly planning the lingerie, the gorgeous hair and makeup on the day of the shoot, and finally the photobook I made for him of the images. Additionally, the personal confidence boost has made a meaningful impact in my life and marriage.
What if I can’t find lingerie that looks good on me?
Finally, I asked myself if I could stomach not looking good in lingerie. This was one of the toughest questions to answer for myself. I didn’t feel confident naked. I didn’t feel confident in underwear. I didn’t feel confident, period. So, I decided to spend a day at Victoria’s Secret and try on anything that caught my interest. It took about 2 hours and I found beautiful pieces that suited my personality and body. I became comfortable with the sizes that fit best and tried my best not to judge myself. It’s a process, but a worthy one for yourself, upcoming photoshoot or not.
Furthermore, if you don’t find lingerie that makes you feel good, don’t wear it.
Sexy doesn’t necessarily mean undergarments.
Sexy is defined by YOU.
So, after answering the questions above, and with my fear still very much intact, I walked into what would be one of the best decisions of my life.
On the day of the shoot, my husband dropped me off at the studio with my heart pounding. He assured me that I could do this and that it would be fun. I walked up to the intercom, dialed the buzzer and heard Jennifer’s upbeat voice. “Hi! I’ll meet you in the lobby. Come on in!” A few moments later, Jennifer and I met and walked up to her studio together. I was instantly put at ease in her presence. After I met the fabulous makeup artist, Kelly, I became even more comfortable. They showed the cool loft space, and we chatted like old friends for a bit. Then, it was go-time!
What I Learned From Jennifer Williams
Jennifer Williams is an artist. She is incredible at boudoir photography for so many reasons. I learned a lot about myself from her in a short amount of time. Here are some of the key epiphanies I’ve had:
- Your weight is inconsequential
I know it’s tough to believe this when you don’t feel your best, but at the end of the day your weight isn’t all that important. Settling into your environment, listening to Jennifer’s skillful direction, and enjoying yourself is what will come across in these photos.
- Feeling your best starts by celebrating your present self
You’re not too fat to take boudoir photos. Take them even in the midst of all your fear. Celebrate yourself, today, in your body as it is. Your current body is worthy of celebration. Jennifer can help you experience that. I didn’t realize how much my perception of myself could change from these photos. The same body I was ashamed of is now a source of pride for me.
- After a few minutes, lingerie feels like a bathing suit
Can you be comfortable in lingerie in front of somebody else? Yep. After a while, it just feels like a bathing suit. You get used to it. Jennifer’s positive affirmations help your increase your body positivity too.
- Stretch before the photoshoot
Ok, a lot of my experience was rooted in defining my self-worth, but I think it’s worth adding that you should definitely stretch before your shoot. I had no idea how much work posing is, but wow! Jennifer is willing to put you in the best positions for your body, so come loosened up and ready to bend and flex. My weight didn’t seem to matter either. It’s like Jennifer decides where your rolls fit best and has you put them there.
If you're like me and feel like the body you're in isn't what you want, then by all means schedule a photoshoot. When you see what you look like, how your characteristics shape your personal beauty, and how Jennifer captures that glow from within you'll be thankful and 100x more confident than before the shoot. It's an investment in yourself and your self-esteem. Don't cheapen it by delaying because of something as fickle as weight.
Pro Tip: Read the emails from Jennifer on preparation. It makes a difference. She has taken the time to be extremely detailed with no stone left unturned. Good luck!